“There had been times when he knew, somewhere in him, that he would get used to it, whatever it was, because he had learnt that some hard things became softer after a very little while.”
Nick Hornby, About a Boy (via observando)

Things blew up
And they were not well planned
But here we are
enveloped and sinking in
Quick sand

For me it goes like this
For me its as simple as shit
We are too lazy to change it
So we point and blame and watch and sit

At least u knew me when I believed
we could do it
To wear the world and drool like fools
For art school made me think being cool was the supreme of life’s rules
Didn’t check the facts in exchange for the pupiled pools
Of feeling feelers in florescent rooms
Who dance and sing and mock the doomed
I fought right back and never checked my grades
For those professors rarely flatter the brave

Baby’s in black to deflect all the boys bc I just miss my man and this distance has me prepping the sexy to make it new again.

Baby’s in black to deflect all the boys bc I just miss my man and this distance has me prepping the sexy to make it new again.

They have no other grave than the sea

Our soul is escaped even as a bird out of the snare of the fowler
The snare is broken and we are delivered

(Embossed at the entrance Scottish National War Memorial of Edinburgh Castle)

Somewhere between Galway + the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland

Somewhere between Galway + the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland

“Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.”
Yann Martel, Life of Pi (via words-and-coffee)

Of 1.5 years

We have our lives together to look forward to so why does two weeks away from you make me feel lost and worried for I am chasing you although we still are in the same city and I am now leaning on what we shared this morning, to savor each drop of what’s left and still coming out from within me because you get me missing you on our off days. Listen, the kisses I will give you when I return are already brewing in the factory of fantasy. It is certain I did not need to grow fonder of you so this distance I am preparing for will remind me of that destined start that got us fucking slowly as quickly as that bong was ripped or as anxiety struck me suddenly onto Madison’s bed, thrusting me into you with a full mooned glow. We didn’t know how easy it would be to fall despite the chocolate underlining of my eyes and the close attention designated for my creamy wintered thighs; I found out straighter hair was not what you preferred, so what got us in that room last January couldn’t have been my trying bodycon ensemble or my self assured fur. You got me to love on you as I never had tried before to eventually keep it cool when you kept on agreeing to call me over for more. Into me you fit as I fell flat on my face at your feet that evening, or so our folktale’s folly unfolds to tell…but of my heart you kept safely lit, as I peed you washed your hands and at my lips you kissed for forever had happened for us already, I could kind of tell. I felt trust circle us like a belt and could finally sigh cause after all you are my guy and sure, when women talk of love they hold onto the start and that’s no lie; of my guy though I hung up the phone with cries in my eye because now I know, while I love me, belonging to him is my reason why I continue to write and keep on marching on, for someday, one day, of us I will write a perfect song. This wild prose I got to share is one I deem free and of my heart. Could you believe still though, that where we are now is even more perfect than the start?

“It occurs to me that I am America…
I am talking to myself again.”
Allen Ginsberg, “America” (via tijeanduluoz)

of birth control - I use it too

Don’t talk to me about California like you know what she can do
All you really want is for your dreams to come true
But what will happen whence alas you’re there and no longer new?
Like stale bread for the taking, you’ll stand their waiting to start breaking
And others will just snort at your prayer and call it faking
As if orgasms were the only good part of love making.
 
I will not stand and let you become someone else
Shall I like the photographs you manipulate to convince us all
To justify what you see as if you’ve stumbled upon some prophet scapes and all?
 
Try and be cooler, will you not, please?
You know it’s called lazy when the highlight of my day is working on my knees
All women wear thongs but dare to tell me I am so wrong
Our fear of motherhood has challenged elegance in this virtual war of petty pingpong
 
And so I turn off my device at poorly written snarls to then concede to appease
I get it, us women we all want to be taken seriously
But of these lipstick fiends who pretend they are all about the peace
Please take your pills or don’t, choose your lover wisely and join hands with me.
 
For babies are not welcome here, they are no longer desired
Among human gods I ponder as cavemen gazed upon new fire
Like, how can you do that?
No woman really wants to do that
And for the record I am free as fuck to say that
Nor will I blame my boss for killing the soul I wouldn’t let in to grow fat
And no I am not ready
So fuck you for thinking this way of life is steady
My sex is mine
My escapade isn’t yours
Do you want things for free or would you rather be free?
Is there a solid answer? I am not sure.

Rapid fire comes blazing down the freeway northbound through homes of children who could understand war before they even knew how to speak of it.